Full House could always be counted on for its family friendly humor. Or so we thought. Did you know that DJ (and likely Stephanie) both had their first kiss on Full House? And who did they ask for advice? Becky! While that’s rather sweet, it’s also slightly wrong considering the show stole their first kiss. Something that should be shared with someone you actually care about rather than some actor with Cheetos breath. No offense Kevin Gwynn. Although all that is intense for preteens and beyond, things get a lot worse.
If you haven’t seen the Nickelodeon, Disney, and other cartoons’ inappropriate things you didn’t notice, then you have to read them! But those are literally kid’s shows. Full House is a family show, which means that they want to appeal to adults too. For this reason, they are willing to go pretty far to make us laugh, cry, and widen our eyes in disbelief. The show is littered with jokes you didn’t catch, references you’ll regret reading, and highly emotional moments that you’ll wish never graced the old box TV screens when you were a kid. For example, do you remember what Kathy Santoni did? Did you know Joey had a mental disorder? Can you tell us what Jesse dreamed about in season one that shocked viewers? Likely not, because you weren’t that old and that was a long time ago.
Before we spoil all the fun, let’s move onto these twenty-five inappropriate things in Full House that you never would have caught!
25 A Whole New Meaning To Zodiac
Obviously, we have to start with the most famous inappropriate joke that was ever in Full House. When DJ and Kimmy give Stephanie a copy of their school newspaper, she doesn’t appreciate it. When Kimmy says, “Check out my new column Madam Kimmy’s Horoscope, and hey, if the words are too big for you to read, you can always color on it,” Stephanie replies with, “horoscope? What’s that Kimmy, a telescope that can only see your face?”
Producers will say that they meant it to mean “horror” but we all know the truth. Put two and two together and you get the biggest burn in ABC history. Stephanie always was good at comebacks.
24 This Is Where Me And Your Mom...
Remember the episode where Jesse and Becky bring Nicky and Alexander home from the hospital? It’s the one where Becky removes their bracelets and can’t tell them apart. The episode was great, but there was one little tidbit that was slipped in under our young noses. While Jesse is showing the newborns around, he stops at his and Becky’s bed upstairs and says, “This is where mommy and daddy live. This is the bed."
"That’s where you guys got started,” Jesse says, unashamed.
When Becky scolds him, he replies with, “what? It’s the highlight of the tour!”
The episode was annoying when Becky’s hormones and baby blues got the best of her, but this mature line would not have been allowed if someone would have caught it.
23 Marriage Too Soon
In this episode called Greek Week where Jesse's grandparents, Gina and Iorgos "Papouli" Katsopolis visit from Greece. One of the guests that they bring is Sylvio Banalakis, a boy D.J.'s age who she falls all over.
They end up walking three laps around a table and are “married” by their Greek law.
The truth is, that is a tradition but has nothing to do with completing the wedding ceremony. Saying it does is quite perturbing, but what’s more so is the fact that at this time, D.J. was just 13-years-old. Imagining a girl just out of her preteen years marrying is frightening. If they want to go so far as to exaggerate Greek traditions, then you know that they would go so far as to insinuate inappropriate relations between children.
22 I Wish That I Had “Jesse’s” Girl
In the episode called Pal Joey, Joey and Danny remember the day they met. Both of them are as expected and are appropriate for their age. But Jesse, who is in elementary school, is a womanizer. His first line in the flashback is, “okay girls, who wants a kiss?” They run away from him only to return shortly after with them running after him and him saying, “hey, hey, one at a time,” with laughter in his voice. His third line takes place after his teacher sits him down for tormenting the girls. She says that he has to sit with her to which he replies, “have mercy!” We all know what Jesse meant by this. Wondering how in the world the boy learned to play with women so early in life is a disastrous thought.
21 Doing The Soul Shake
In the same episode that Jesse was a womanizing child, there was a rather racist reference made. Most of the episode was okay, but this one scene was rather offensive. Vowing to be soul brothers, they decide to make it official by doing their own “soul shake” or secret handshake. They do this in a very “white” way and it wasn’t so bad. Or else, it wouldn’t have been if an African-American wouldn’t have walked up behind them, stared, shook his head, then walked away.
The whole stereotyping thing was too much.
There’s nothing wrong with calling it a soul shake but insinuating that it was a “black people handshake” does nothing but divide us further. What would you call a “white people handshake” anyway?
20 Miss Garland Wants Jesse Wetter
This shady episode is called I.Q. Man and stars none other than Jesse Katsopolis. He and Joey are working on a presentation for men’s cologne. The long routine is rather steamy for two friends who aren’t into each other. The client loved it and hires them right away. They even hire Jesse to play the character in the commercial. Only the script is changed from a library set to a bathroom set.
That's when a flirty cougar insists that Jesse gets nothing but a small hand towel.
Like…wear it where? The producer said, “the more I thought about it, the more I saw you in the…shower.”
When Jesse gets shy, Joey says, “the idea is an IQ Man, not an IQ Head.” Jesse’s answer of, “Too bad the head’s all you’re getting,” only makes things worse. Good thing Joey literally gives him a cold shower after that. The references in this scene never stop and they really…really should.
19 DJ Gives Her Heart Away
There is a lot of gambling in the two-part Luck Be a Lady special where the gang takes a visit to Lake Tahoe. But the hotel they stay at isn’t just a hotel but a “fabulous Ali Baba Hotel and Casino” as said by the owner. When ordered to go play while Danny and Becky get ready for the show, they find some slot machines and get busy. D.J. ends up winning $100,000 very conspicuously. Today, TV shows are so filtered that they’d never allow kids to gamble on TV.
Unrelated to inappropriate behavior, what infuriates us is that Danny won’t allow them to keep the money because it’s illegal and won’t let Joey keep it because he “didn’t win it.” What a party pooper!
18 Danny’s Young Girl
In The Graduates, D.J. is about to graduate. Because of this, Danny goes through a mid-life crisis, believed that he’s getting old. But he’s only 33. To prove that he’s still got it he starts dating 21-year-old Kirsten, a free-spirited college student who has a lot more in common with D.J. than she does with Danny. Kirsten does prefer older men, but she did not realize that he was 33. She gives him a last kiss and says goodbye. He then sings Young Girl which goes, “Young girl, get out of my mind my love for you is way out of line. Better run girl, you're much too young girl.” The songs speaks of a man who is in love with a woman who isn’t legal. Perfect for a family show!
17 Jesse’s Special Dreams
In the first season, Jesse gets so tired of not having privacy that he begins having inappropriate dreams where people keep walking in on him and his girlfriend. The girls, Danny, Kimmy, and Joey, all begin walking in, not allowing him any alone time with his girlfriend Samantha. Michelle is even talking, asking for a diaper change! He ends up starting to move out but can’t do that to Michelle and her sisters.
His girlfriend very seductively says, “we could be so happy,” over and over, trying to convince him to leave them. In the dream that is. Which is what causes him to get away for a few days. The whole dream was creepy and we just can’t get it out of our heads.
16 Danny’s Obsessive Side
Can we just talk about Danny’s mental problem? Obviously, he’s always been a neat freak, but it seems like once he lost his wife, he went through postpartum depression and ended up with OCD on the other side. The effect is normal when someone loses someone they love. It happens because the passing is out of their control.
Danny uses cleanliness as a way to keep something under his control.
To keep something that he can always focus on in hard times. He actually needed help from a therapist, because his addiction and obsession caused him a lot of problems and wasn’t healthy at all.
In the episode where he thought no one liked him that way, he went so far the other way that the family ended up telling him that they liked him the way he was. This enablement meant they were afraid of him and what he'd do if they continued to reject his disorder.
15 Arrest Ye Merry Gentlemen
This whole episode is scary! It’s Christmas time in the Tanner household and everyone is getting ready for Santa’s visit. After Michelle literally plays with fire while trying to burn her gift for Danny that he made fun of, Jesse takes her to shop for a new one. But once at the store, the store owner (Mickey Rooney) takes them. He hasn't seen his daughter and her family in years and so he decided to take them to spend Christmas with.
Yes, he steals a family for Christmas.
Thankfully, the two invite him for Christmas dinner at the Tanner house, and he joins them. If that quick wit wouldn’t have panned out, then they would have been Christmas dinner for the crazy man. To make things worse, the twins are afraid of Santa (Joey) because they saw him “hurting” the girls when really, he just needed help putting the suit on. Good thing that creepy serial guy actually ended up playing Santa.
14 Say Bye To Papouli
Mortality is never an easy subject, but when Papouli, Jesse’s grandad, passed, there were tears all around. Seeing heartbroken little girls was way too much. He spends time winning over the girls, before peacefully passing in his sleep. Michelle is so devastated that she tears her school project that Papouli helped her make on the ground. This kind of tragedy may be a great way to teach children how to deal with losing someone, but since the show is rated for everyone, it shouldn’t have been allowed.
Parents should know when subjecting their kid to something that could mess with their minds, and this whole episode could very well do that. The youngest cast member never has a dry eye during the entire filming. Thankfully, the actor didn’t really pass for another ten years.
13 These Issues Aren’t Funny
In Grand Gift Auto, DJ is given a red 1977 Firebird for her 16th birthday by Joey. Turns out, the car was reported stolen, as a police officer tells D.J. The officer, Officer Warren, gives them a chance to prove that Joey is innocent. To do so, they take turns making fun of him. As in, trying to convince the lady that he’s mentally impaired, and therefore, incapable of stealing anything.
The whole scene is disturbing as they are having a good time pretending that he’s a dumb mentally unstable man.
Afterwards, he begins to run away from home because no one takes him seriously, which kind of plays on the idea that they were turning something that is very serious into satire simply to amuse themselves.
12 Bad Times For Kids!
“No, I want my daddy! (clings to Danny again) You can't go. Don't leave me! Don't leave me!” When there is a small earthquake in San Francisco, everyone simply just goes on with their days. When Danny doesn’t get home early that day, Stephanie gets PTSD and becomes convinced that if Danny ever leaves her side again then she will never see him again. She ends up sleeping in Danny’s room with Michelle. She ends up going to a psychiatrist! Pretty intense for a little kid.
What’s worse is that it was aired just a couple of months after a devastating earthquake wreaked havoc in San Francisco. If any kid had an inkling of PTSD, it was amplified after watching this episode. Poor San Fran kids.
11 Nothing About This Is Okay
You know how every teen girl looks at those magazines with the perfect models in them and realizes that they don’t look like that? A great thing to base an episode off. No really, it is, but the way Full House did it with Shape Up was not the way to do it.
Days before Kimmy’s pool party, DJ is harming herself to lose weight.
While Becky encourages her to eat healthy, she says she’d rather not think about food at all. She starves herself and ends up closet eating (an entire box of cookies). After this, she gets fed up and stops eating entirely and starts doing deadly cardio routines before passing out. The truth is, in real life, Candace Cameron Bure had her own eating disorder a few years later!
10 Please Don’t Last Forever
Although the song Forever performed by Jesse and the Rippers had really amazing lyrics, the video for it was way too much. The Beach Boys made the song so pure, but that video made it so wrong. For starters, the intro showed Jesse unclothed under sheets in a dark bedroom. The undertones of the whole video are dark and creepy, with dungeon-like rooms and candles as the only source of light. But then you realize, he isn’t talking to a concubine, but his sons, who are babies at the time.
He ends up holding them and cuddling them all without anything on.
Like we said, the Beach Boys’ song was flawless, and it was a great wedding gift to Rebecca, but the video is not one we’d like to watch again.
9 Joey Can’t Move On
Though I’m not sure what it’s technically called, there is something known as “I feel like a child” or “Peter Pan” syndrome, and yes, Joey has it. In a way, people who have this have developed their bodies, but have experienced something tragic in their past that won’t let them progress past the age they were when it happened. It starts with an insecurity that Joey covers up with humor, but it’s a very real disease that is made light of in Full House. The presence of it alone, addressed or not, is not something that should be allowed in a family show without warning parents.
And besides, why is Joey there? He’s Danny’s best friend…but that’s all. Jesse is Danny’s brother-in-law, so his presence is expected. But why is this overgrown child living off of Danny’s income?
8 Kathy Santoni…That Is All
Every show needs someone promiscuous, and if there is anything immoral going on, it’s Kathy Santoni that’s doing it. She is the only character that is mentioned more than she’s seen. She was first seen three seasons after she is mentioned and appears to have grown up, "big time", according to D.J. She attributes her appearance to having a "pretty intense summer".
When D.J. sees her, she starts dressing in skimpy clothing and wearing awful makeup to make herself look older. Kathy’s lifestyle is proved when she goes to the Backwards Dance with three boys! Then again when Kathy gets pregnant while still in high school, which was a big disgrace back in the ‘80s and ‘90s. The whole idea of a character like this was not okay.
7 Cabinet Of Fish
The episode that takes place a week before Jesse and Rebecca’s wedding was quite the doozy. When Michelle wins a goldfish from the fair and calls it Martin, things go downhill. She is left unsupervised for long enough to draw Martin a full bubble bath that she could have drowned in herself! Joey even fishes him out and holds his dead body up to the camera.
Yes, they showed a lifeless fish on TV.
But then, what’s worse, is he gives the fish back to her and tells Michelle that Martin is sleeping. But before long they end up telling her the truth, that she eliminated her pet.
Feeling bad about it, they buy her a new one, but what if it perishes? Well, Joey bought a ton of them and stuffed them all in a cabinet for safe keeping. That’s not creepy at all.
6 When Being A Queen Is Taboo
In this horrid episode, Danny and Joey prepare for their fraternity reunion. When doing so, they remember that some girls stole their fraternity seal (literally a stuffed animal) and decide to steal it back. In order to do so, they dress as drag queens so no one will recognize them and so they can enter into the sorority house. When they get there, the male waiter flirts with Danny and he acts as if two men together is the most repulsive thing he’s ever seen.
Back in their day being openly gay was not something that was very acceptable.
Even though Joey calls himself a “limbo bimbo,” the worst part of this episode is their flippant disregard for anyone in the LGBT community’s feelings.
It gets worse when they go to jail in their dresses and are surrounded by rather beefy men.
Nothing stands a chance against Boris and his trusty turret.